Maybe it's just a complete lack of estrogen

WGN radio's (new) morning man, John Williams, had a brief discussion this morning about, essentially, little boys, weaponry, and just how inherent some things like that just are in boys. Most of the phone calls were light -- a lot of laughing. One woman had several sons and said that she had declared one day a week as "No Weapon Wednesdays". Another woman told how she had banned all weaponry from her home, but her sons ate the middle out of pieces of toast and then "shot" each other with the crusts. The undertones of the conversations were along the lines of: "Do people with only daughters have this aggression in their homes?" and "Is this really an inherent thing with boys? Does banning weaponry help or will little boys bite the toast into guns or pick up any leaf or stick and shoot each other with it?"

While I could expound along those lines of theory -- I really think that would be pointless. We cannot prove either way the "nature/nurture" conundrum. My mind, while listening to the radio, went more to the thoughts of the other crazy things boys do that most girls would not ever think of doing. My other thoughts were, "I wonder if the complete absence of girls in some families has an effect on the boys. Does having sisterly influence "help" in some situations?"

Using a fairly recent example from my life with the boys, for instance -- would having had a sister around prevented the boys from spray painting my front yard tree, landscaping rock and wood sided house? Would not a sister have said at some point, "Hey, you better not do that! Not a good idea! Mom's gonna FLIP OUT! You are wrecking the house!" ??

We sat in front of "Wendy with the 5 daughters" in church last night. We had not been seated for 5 minutes before she and a couple of the girls were chuckling at us. Wendy nudged me, with a giggle, and said "We love to watch you guys". Here's the silly reason they were chuckling last night: We sat down and Cole immediately wanted a piece of candy. I told him "NO - not yet". He proceeded to tell me that he thought he had "bad breaf" and "needed a peppermint" -- this was, of course, accompanied by him putting his mouth right in front of my face and breathing "Hhaaugh" hard and loudly, to prove his bad breath. Very funny to a family of girls, who would never breathe like that on their mother. They have a little more decorum in church than that.

One other things the boys do, that I don't think girls would do, may prove, once and for all that girls are just smarter than boys -- at least socially. When my mom said "Stop doing that" -- we (usually) stopped. We understood that we should not be acting like we were in some places or at some times. The boys I have observed, even the ones that do not belong to me, do not necessarily understand this. They say "OK", stop what they are doing for maybe 45 seconds, and then go right back to it. I guess technically, they did "stop" -- but my new response has been that "I said STOP - not 'pause'!"

I also think that boys without sisters do not understand, perhaps, the certain level of danger to some situations; nor are they able to empathize with pain that others may be experiencing in these situations. Girls will, at some point in a dangerous situation, realize and point out that this is not a good idea -- someone is either getting hurt or will be getting hurt. I would bet that Wendy has never had to say, "Get that belt off your sister's neck!" I have had to say "brother's neck" to each of my 3 younger sons. Just Sunday, again, Joe said to #3: "Get that belt off your [own] neck!" Belts are wonderful tools for the imagination. They can be leashes, whips, swinging vines, tow ropes, etc., etc. I wonder how many little boys have almost hung themselves with this piece of a wardrobe that we see has somewhat harmless?

Maybe the need to conquer the world, to be king of the hill, to suppress others beneath you, is a true sign of original sin. [On a side note: People who do not believe in original sin - Pelagianists - Michael Pearl -- are sadly delusional. I have seen original sin in all my children since the first time they cried out in anger and frustration from the crib. Thanks to my good Calvinistic upbringing and beliefs, I can identify the boys' sin as inherent and something we need to teach them to resist and overcome.] My sons, and many other boys I know and have observed in church, scouts, grocery store, neighborhood playgrounds, & family gatherings, are most of the time bound and determined to "be on top". Who enjoys King of the Hill on snowy school yards? A pack of boys does. Who climbs trees to totally unsafe elevations in order that their brothers cannot reach them and in order to taunt them on the ground? Boys. [This is a silly display of headship BTW - of course you can climb higher than your younger brother. His legs are shorter than yours and he cannot, therefore, reach the branches that will bring him as high up the tree as you.] Who tries desperately to show their strength by wrestling his brother to the ground at every given opportunity or moment of boredom? Nothing exciting going on for a minute? Are we bored at the grocery store, waiting for someone to finish a project at Cub Scouts, or lining up to walk to the music room at school? Then let me show you how strong I am by kicking you in the shin, twisting your arm, or even throwing you to the ground. "There wasn't that cool? If you can do it back to me, then we are both cool and can be best friends."

Now, I am not saying that girls do none of these things. And, I am not saying that all boys react the same way to things like these. I just wonder if, in an expanded study of "nature/nurture", anyone has thought to look at boys and girls who live in "exclusive" families. There may not be too much difference, aside from the magnification of the inherent traits for each gender. Maybe that would be a truly "clean" way to do the study -- a family of exclusively boys would magnify these traits as would a family of exclusively girls magnify their traits. I wonder, why, for the sake of more well-rounded human families, God chooses to make such families as mine or as Wendy's - -why only one gender? Wouldn't the boys be more well-rounded men if they had sisterly influence? Wouldn't Wendy's daughters grow up as more well-rounded women if they had some brotherly influence? I wonder if the DeVries daughters (exclusively girls who now all have given birth to exclusively boys!) ponder these things as they compare their growing up years to those of their sons? I should ask one of them to comment on this.

Oh, well, there is much screeching and hollering going on in my living room right now. I think about removing all of the furniture and just installing P.E. mats on the floor. They treat the room like a gymnasium and it's a relatively short time that they will all live here. I could probably live with those mats for a few more years and redecorate when they are all in college.
I should probably go to see who is "king" right now and make sure that the other one is not getting seriously injured. Off to referee. Maybe I will send them outside after lunch to pelt each other with ice balls or bury each other, face first, of course, in the snow. Or maybe I will join them in the ice ball fight and show them that the queen around here trumps the little kings! ;)